A mother’s record

Tenrei 4 September 29

I’m feeling pretty good today, so I went out for a walk.

I make new exciting discoveries every time,

Like how the osmanthus is blooming in the park,

Or how another bicycle with training wheels popped up at the cute house by the corner,

Or how the riverside bakery added some sweet potato items to their menu.

Even in my familiar hometown, no day is the same.

Tenrei 5 February 7

I found an injured cat, so I took it home. Impulsive, I know.

I gave it some basic treatment, but it disappeared one day.

It didn’t have a collar, so maybe it was a wild cat?

I hope it’s doing fine.

Tenrei 5 July 5

My walks have turned into cat patrols.

Our patient today had some burns, so I crushed some aloe from our garden and applied it.

I’ve always wanted to be a botanist, but maybe being a vet wouldn’t be so bad either?

My neighbor Ta-kun helped me out again.

Tenrei 5 August 4

A very shocking incident happened.

A tragic incident…the sort you can’t imagine happening in a peaceful town like this.

The one remaining boy is apparently Ta-kun’s relative, and he’s about to be sent to a faraway town.

It’ll be hard for him to live in this town, after all.

Tenrei 5 August 10

I’ve seen that boy multiple times on my patrols.

He wears long sleeves and long pants even during summer.

His hair is unkempt, and he’s always wearing a baseball cap.

Baseball is supposed to be a team sport, but he’s always alone.

That should’ve been the first warning sign.

A peaceful town?

What made me think that?

In reality, this world is filled with sadness, and we’re just choosing to not see it, living in blissful ignorance.

All while sadness might be just around the corner.

I’m frustrated with myself.

Maybe if I’d noticed something earlier, things would’ve turned out different?

I know I’m just deluding myself; I’m just a powerless child.

But I won’t ever forget how I felt today.

Today’s entry is a record of my conviction.

Tenrei 6 May 1

Fate is strange sometimes, and I became good friends with the shrine member. I visited his shrine today.

It’s…hard to put into words, but it’s amazing and mysterious. My curiosity was piqued by a lot of equipment that I’d never seen before.

The shrine maiden who served me some tea was a cute girl.

She seemed to be about my age?

Himeko-chan, what a lovely name.

Tenrei 6 June 15

Some old guy I don’t know talked to me today, and I was really surprised.

Apparently he’s the chief priest at Hiyama.

Oh, I guess he’s no longer a stranger. Sorry.

He had a scary looking face, but he’s a kindhearted person who loves flowers. Apparently he’s taken a liking to my garden since a while ago.

He has good taste!

He correctly pointed out everything great about my garden, as well as details I’d especially paid attention to.

Oh my god, I feel my heart pounding.

I’m way happier when people praise my garden instead of me.

But I’ve had a lot of shrine-related run-ins as of late, huh.

Tenrei 14 January 30

Tai-chan proposed to me.

At some point, I’ve talked myself into believing that nobody is crazy enough to marry a weak girl like me who might die any day.

My mother was fiercely against it, bringing up everything from my physical condition, our age difference, and even the history of shinto and buddhism.

But I’ve already made up my mind.

Mother, sorry for making you worry all the time.

But I’m no longer a child.

I want to show you more of my world that you haven’t seen before.

I want to do for others what you’ve done for me.

Thank you. It’s because you are my mother.

Tenrei 15 February 10

I haven’t written a diary entry in a long time.

Apparently I suffered temporary memory loss since passing out a while ago.

This is the first time it’s ever happened to me, but it just reaffirmed the importance of this diary in my mind.

The good and the bad, they’re all part of my history.

And I want all of that to continue.

Tenrei 15 February 22

Today I have some good news and…some good news!

Inside of me…(drumroll)

Is a spark of new life!

And what’s more…(drumroll)

They’re twins! Wow!

Tenrei 15 March 15

I have some bad news.

One of the lives inside me disappeared.

They call it ‘vanishing twin’.

I’m sad. I’m sad. I’m sad. I’m sad. I’m sad.

There are no other words to describe it. I’m sad.

Tenrei 15 April 13

The sadness doesn’t go away.

But life isn’t all about sadness.

I will become a mother.

I swear to you, my child who has disappeared.

I’ll give birth to this remaining child no matter what happens to me.

Your mother will do her best.

Tenrei 15 June 3

My adorable princess.

I’ll spoil you rotten once you’re born, alive and well.

Now, hurry up and come out…you don’t have to fear.

Even though this world is filled with sadness and suffering,

I love this world…I love you.

Tenrei 15 October 23

I’ll be admitted into the hospital tomorrow.

I think I’ll die of embarrassment if anyone sees this diary…so I’ll hide it in the bottom drawer of this chest.

My mother always spoke up against my marriage, but she wordlessly sent me this as my wedding gift.

I knew how much my mother treasured this chest of drawers.

Geez, would it hurt for her to be a bit more honest?

We’ll be together for years to come, granny.

..and that’s that. Hehe.