A certain boy’s memories

I’ve never loved anyone.

Perhaps making such a bold statement in modern society isn’t the brightest of ideas, since that can be misconstrued as me being a heartless being with no understanding of the human heart.

Just to be clear, I do have consideration for others, as well as a healthy amount of respect for someone’s character or their achievements.

Though there are few of them that are deserving.

It is in one very specific department that I am lacking - what people call ‘romantic’ love.

I was extremely popular.

Another bold statement for the ages, but it’s been that way as far as I can remember.

It was something that I had taken for granted - that this is how females acted around males that weren’t their relatives. I didn’t know better as a child.

Of course, my assumption was completely wrong, but I never once felt superior due to my popularity.

If anything, it gave me a slight inferiority complex when it comes to love.

The fact that everyone else gets it, while I remain completely befuddled.

That…was unacceptable to me.

I have to excel at everything.

For that is the purpose of my existence, and something that I take pride in.

Outstanding individuals will never find themselves unwanted.

Being unwanted…is not an easy way to live.

I was wanted, but only as the backup to someone else…that line of thought would probably cloud any young boy’s heart with darkness.

The person who saved me from that abyss was none other than Kashima Takeru, the man who would go on and become my best friend.

Take was a natural born martialist who would dominate anyone in the field of archery, spearmanship and martial arts. But he was never able to win against me in swordsmanship.

“But why do I need to be the best at everything?”

At first, I thought he was just being a sore loser. But one day, the true meaning behind his words struck me like lightning.

“It’s not like you’re gonna dual-wield a spear and a sword, right? So what’s the point of counting your faults? Don’t you think it’s more awesome if we just do what we’re best at, and combine our skills that way?”

I see, that’s one way to think about it.

But Take is right.

He made me realize that a good leader should be able to accurately identify people’s talents.

That man acts boorish, but he’s by no means an idiot, and he sometimes gives me food for thought with his insightful comments.

What an interesting man.

When Take lost his house to a fire, Taizan-sensei was the one who appeared when he was most needed and extended a helping hand.

I only knew him as the chief priest of a deserted shrine back then, but he would eventually be my classmate’s father, my best friend’s benefactor, and eventually an irreplaceable mentor to myself.

The ties that bind us are truly fascinating.

I ended up enrolling in Akitsu Takamain School, an educational facility that emphasizes excellence in both literary and martial arts, known for raising promising youngsters that would go on to become core figures in this nation’s political, economic and military areas.

In a school where practical skills are emphasized above all, my teacher’s study of ancient literature may be subject to some degree of ridicule. But I personally am very invested in understanding humanity’s ageless sentiments, ones that go back to the era of gods.

Some fools may deem it a useless subject, but they could not be more wrong.

I consider the subject matter something of a necessity for any who wish to rule over a nation.

Under my mentor’s guidance, I have come to learn of my many shortcomings in knowledge. One of which, unsurprisingly, was the matter of love. I was particularly lacking in my analysis of love poetry.

I even established a club dedicated to analyzing classical poetry, with my mentor as the counselor. Unraveling the history of classical poetry is akin to understanding the heart of Akitsu itself, after all.

Am I asexual?

Or perhaps, have I yet to encounter my destined partner?

I don’t know the answer to those questions, but I hope that someday, I will be able to recite a poem of love.